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Real Talk: Writers Resistance

So you'll notice in Monday's stats blog that I won't have a lot to write about.  I haven't made a lot of progress.

I've hit resistance.  I won't call it writers block for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I HAVE ideas.  I have good ideas.

But I've hit this type of resistance before.

You see, I've been trying to write a novel forever.  I remember starting to try to write novels in high school, and then for various reasons, I kinda gave up writing all together for a few years, and then fell back in love with it when I transferred to Southern Oregon University.  But, I gave up novel writing.  I wrote (and still write) short stories.  I've published short stories, I make money (sometimes...very much sometimes) writing short stories.  I'm good at it, and for a long time I gave up again on the idea of writing a novel

Until I went to library school.  I guess being around all of those novels, and talking about novels, and helping people find novels, made me want to again.  So I've tried.

I've tried A LOT.  I'm not going to mention how many times I've started an scrapped a novel.

But I'm determined to finish the 2 I'm working on now.  Where I'm stuck is outlining.

I've never outlined a story.  My short stories can be developed without one.  But a novel just...can't.

And that's where I'm hung up.  What's killed my novels before was the fact that I would just write without having any idea where its going and then it would fizzle out and I'd scrap it.

I really really really don't want that to happen this time.  So I'm putting the writing on hold.

But I'm going to work on some scene development. Really write out what the buildings look like, what my characters are like beyond the surface.

So for a little while you are going to see "scene development" and "character development" for my Haunted Hotel novel.

I'm putting my Haunted House novel on pause until August.  I want to get a solid outline and be prepared for Camp NaNoWriMo in July.  And I only want to focus on one project during Camp NaNoWriMo so Haunted House project will resume in August.

I'm also figuring out what times are best for me to write.  I finished school so I am trying to pick up more hours at my retail job (I work 2 jobs which doesn't help my morale either) and my retail job is...well...retail.  So I have a hard time feeling motivated to get out of bed, let alone do anything creative. But that's something I'm trying to fight.  Of course I am looking for more hours in the library job/field, but that's hard right now.

I'm also dealing with that dark voice in my head.  One that troubles a lot of writers and creative people.  Mine tells me that I will never finish a novel.  That I should stick to what I know, what I can do, and what comes fairly easily and naturally to me.

But I WANT to write a novel.  I want to challenge myself.  I want to make it happen.  So I need to get out of this slump.

I've cleaned my office so I now have a nice place to write, and it has windows that let in A LOT of sun, and my cat hangs out with me so that's like a writers dream.

I'm also temporarily focusing on just one project, so that gives me some breathing room.

My BFF and fellow writer is coming to visit me at the end of the month, and she's gonna kick my ass into gear, and I need that.

I just need to accept that writing a novel doesn't come to me as quickly as short stories. That I can't just freewrite my way to the end, take a month to edit, and then having something that is publishing level.  I just can't.

So I'm going to work my ass off developing characters (I don't even name half my short story characters, let alone write paragraphs describing what they look like), building the world, and figuring out all of the steps it will take to get to the end. Act by act, scene by scene. Until it's done.

The End.


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